The Essenes

Food awareness began for me back when I was a sophomore in high school. I decided instead of summer camp that I would enroll at the University of Washington for summer school. I was only 15 years old and grew up on an island so was pretty sheltered. It turned out that my dorm mate was a vegetarian. Something I had never even heard of in the 70’s. She immediately tried to convince me of the virtues of eating this way.

I grew up in a large military family so I was raised on processed and convenience foods. Having a dorm cafeteria at my disposal afforded me a wide variety of options, but being young and wanting desperately to fit in, I decided to give vegetarianism a try. My dorm mate Patty, was very patient with me explaining the virtues of eating this way, but I knew it would be a hard transition coming from Captain Crunch, Apple Jacks and a heavy sugar addiction.

One beautiful weekend, we decided to take a camping trip to the Hoh Rain Forest with our friend John. I realized, I was a bit of a third wheel but Patty felt safer if I came along so I quickly obliged. This was one of the best decisions of my life. We drove three and a half hours out to the Rainforest and found a beautiful campsite right next to the river. After getting our camp all set up, I was just starting to get settled into the experience when the two of them decided that we should drive into Forks for dinner. Puzzled by this decision, because I thought we were camping, I decided to go along for the ride, not just for the experience but because Patty grabbed my arm and coaxed me into the car. Forks is not much of a town, but they found a little greasy spoon. The menu did not have many vegetarian options, but we managed to find something to satisfy our appetites and after a couple hours headed back to our campsite.

Driving down the long forested road, it was dark by the time we made it back to our camp.  We could see a small campfire burning at our spot. When we got out of the car, we were greeted by these two young men in long white robes. They greeted us saying “Welcome brother” and “Welcome sisters”. They were cooking dried beans in a pot of water. After getting over the shock of having these two guys in our campsite we settled in for one of the most memorable conversations I can remember to date.

First, they talked about the hidden virtues in food. I was thinking, I did not know food had virtues. They explained how important it was to make Goodness the foundation of your life. That it was important to respect each living being, to keep your thoughts pure and elevated, avoid negative thinking by maintaining a higher consciousness and deeper awareness to the oneness of all. When you eat, you should send grateful thoughts to all of the beings, to the animals, to the plants, to the elements and to the forces that keep us alive.

They spoke of the benefits of simple pure food. They said, if they did not know where it came from or what was in it, they would not eat it. They spoke of Right Livelihood; work is love made visible, about grounding in spirit,  that we must recognize the intimate and total connection of all beings, and that we as a species we must take responsibility for our part in this unfolding drama of evolution.

I guess you can imagine how sitting by this little campfire on the edge of the ocean in the middle of the grand rain forest with these radiant, gentle souls opened my eyes to another way of being. As the evening wore on, Patty and John snuck off to the tent, but I stayed by the fire, absorbing and listening to everything they had to say. I slowly fell asleep thinking, by eating whole simple foods, not only were you doing something good for yourself but for the health of the planet. When I woke up in the morning, they were gone without a trace, leaving me wondering if they were there at all.  Of course when Patty and John woke up, we had a very long discussion about our visitors which continued all the way back to Seattle.

With all of the processed food, fast food, genetically modified organisms (GMO’s), High fructose corn syrup, and aspartame laden poisons in the food chain of today, it makes it that much more important to become informed and simplify ones diet.

I am not a vegetarian anymore, but raise revered grass fed animals, free range chickens and organic vegetables. Providing simple, whole, clean, Slo food has been a belief and passion of mine for years. Growing your own food, whether in a pea patch, in your yard or in a planter box will not only save you money at the store but saves you money at the doctor’s office later. I was sick all the time as a child, I never get sick anymore. The food they are selling today is not the food of yesterday. It is causing so many health conditions that people are very unaware of. Taking responsibility for our health is up to each of us. Becoming informed and passionate about the foods we eat is one action we can take every day to respect ourselves the sacredness of life and the future of this beautiful planet we call home. 

I had a dream

It was a frosty cold morning on January 17th. It was Martin Luther King Day and the beginning of a promising new century. I jumped into the year 2000 with gusto.

Things were moving along with the building of my house. It had been six long years already. The land was paid for, and the shell of the house was finished and water tight. I was still living in my little trailer that I had found  abandoned on a remote piece of property so long ago. When I discovered it, I was smart enough to have left a note on it asking if  whoever owned it would consider selling it. Sure enough, two months later I received a call from a man who was checking on his property and said he would sell me his trailer. I met the man on a rainy day in March in 1994. The trailer was small, the back window was broken out, and it was generally a mess but was a classic 1968 Lakewood .It had the  little pink Princess refrigerator and the turquoise propane stove and oven. The walls were covered in a beautiful hardwood paneling. At the time, I didn't realize what a treasure it was and how long I would be stuck living in it.  He wanted three hundred dollars for it . I offered him one hundred fifty and told him that I had no way to get it to my property. Being a nice sort of fella, he agreed to my amount and offered to tow it to my property.

I was so excited! My first home! I immediately set to work: repairing  the window, ripping out the toilet, tearing out the bed area and creating a  little one bedroom suite with a little closet. I had a desk, a kitchen, bed and a closet all in 14 feet of horizontal space! Things were looking up. I built the most amazing outhouse.  I eventually had power and phone service brought in and created a class B water system with my neighbor for water.  I created a bathtub out of a stock trough that I love and still use today. I survived without hot running water for 6 years.  This tub was the only way I had to get clean, and being a painting contractor at the time, the evening bath became a very important ritual. I would get home from work around 5:00 pm; rinse the tub out from the night before; fill it with cold water from the hose and plug the heater  into 220 watts of delicious power.The tub uses a hot water heater element to heat it up and takes about three hours to bring it to boiling. Two hundred and fifty gallons of sheer bliss! This gave me time to walk my dog, work on the house and tackle the farm chores that needed doing. Of course, I would have to clean my paint gear, load any additional work- related items, place orders,  line up the next job and the evening paper work before passing out. Eating...well, the animals came first and I was living on peanut butter and homemade blackberry jelly sandwiches at that time.

This trailer, even though it afforded me a free living environment started to become a real drag after a couple of years. I tried to keep a positive attitude  because after all it was allowing me a way to my dream, and I did not want to spend money on temporary comforts. My situation started becoming a nightmare when I woke up to the sound of a light thump on my pillow . I arose with a start and quickly reached for the light switch that was positioned strategically  by my hand . I found myself face to face with the almighty Queen Yellow Jacket looking rather dazed and confused. Arrg! I flew out of bed half crazed still high on paint from work and not sure if I was having a night mare or if this was reality. Unfortunately, it was reality. Then the insects started moving into my domain. I had carpenter ants and all the Queen's children after awhile. They were amazing at finding trails right into the heart of my temporary home. Coming out at night was their favorite thing to do, so sleeping became a necessary burden for me.

I was grateful for all the trailer had given me but I was looking forward to a time when I would  be free of this type of living. My house was to a point where it was watertight and had power and water!  864 sq. feet of space. I was so excited that I decided to put an antenna up so that I could maybe catch some FREE TV. Maybe then I would find the time to relax.

It was very cold that January morning. I still remember the sun shining on the other side of the house. I was standing in the shade on the north side of the house getting ready to install the largest  antenna made that I had equipped with an eight pound rotor motor and a 10 foot pole.(Nothing but the best for my house!) I was going to mount it on a bracket 24 feet up on the ridge of my house. I installed all of the necessary cross bars, saddles and supports.  I was incredibly fit and had been doing martial arts so this was going to be a piece of cake. I finished my cup of coffee. I was going to re-position the ladder so that it was sitting on the edge of the roof rather than the side of the house but I didn't. This turned out to be the biggest mistake of my house-building life.

I grabbed the pole with the huge antenna on it and started to slide it up the ladder. Up I went until I made it to the roof.As I ran out of ladder, I was standing with my feet and knees hooked into the ladder slightly holding  me steady. I hefted the antenna up and started raising the pole so I could set the end into the saddle. Pulling up ten feet of pole is a lot of length and allowed for some time to think.  Right then I had a thought: "what if this thing starts to tip backwards?" As if thoughts create action, the weight of the antenna started to pull me backwards and before I knew it, I was at a 45 degree angle to the ladder. I quickly let go of the antenna and had to make a split second decision as to what to do. I had no ladder to reach for so  I decided to push off the ladder with all my might. Flying through the air was very liberating. I felt no fear. I was having flashbacks of all of the Bruce Lee, Korean Kung Fu and Jackie Chan movies I had watched as a child, thinking, as I flew, " now how would they land?" Well, I am glad I had no fear because the reality was that I hit the ground incredibly hard. I did land on my feet, still spinning. My legs gave out from the force, and my butt  hit the ground so hard that it gave me a concussion. I popped back up to my feet and then fell over. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move I just laid there with my eyes wide open watching the insects walk through the grass. My dog Lucky, saw the whole thing. He came running over and started to lick my face hoping that I would get up. This was one of those moments in life when it really tests what you are made of. I could have chosen to stay where I was and go into shock and end it all peacefully-OR-I could gather myself together and decide what the next course of action would be. I am glad I chose the latter. I had previously been a fire fighter EMT and worked in the ER for five years. I knew what I had to do. I knew I was starting to go into shock from the cold and the pain but I needed to assess the damage. I was breathing; I could wiggle my toes and fingers.  I just needed to get into the house and get warm. It took all of my will to roll over on my side then slowly get to my knees and try to stand. I knew immediately that several things were broken. My back, my left ankle and my right foot.  I hobbled into the house and grabbed the phone on my way up the stairs to my makeshift bed a ridge rest and a sleeping bag.

My first call was to my girl friend who lived about 12 miles away. I asked her if she would be willing to drive me to the hospital . She had two kids , had homework to do  and said that I should call and ambulance. In no way did I want to be strapped to a back board all the way to the hospital which was 40 miles from my house, so my second call was to my mom. She lived about 15 miles away and said she would come to get me.

My girlfriend did call the ER to let them know I was coming. It just happened to be the ER where I had worked previously The person to get me out of the car was the guy I trained and it was my old shift so all of my old coworkers were there to give me support. It is funny how life works sometimes.

After the x-rays I was given a shot for the pain and sent home with a broken back, a crushed left ankle and a broken right heel.

It has been many years since that pivotal moment in my life. I could have surrendered to circumstance. Instead I heard the words of Martin Luther King: " I have a dream."  I believe dreams are the blueprints of your soul. Never let go of yours. 

What is that in the tree?

There is nothing like being in a deep, sound sleep to be harshly awakened by the dog barking frantically, jumping up and down on the bed trying to alert you that there is an intruder nearby. Then having the 40 lb. dog in all her excitement, use your chest as a ramp, as she leaps into action, charging out of the dog door to continue the barking rampage on the edge of the forest. 

My heart was pounding out of my chest from the sudden jerk into reality. Sleepily I listened for a noise. Thinking what on earth could she be barking at?  I heard the strangest sound coming from outside. Yaaaaaag engggg  Yaaaaag enggggg.  It sounded like a soft but continuous cry coming from the top of one of the huge cedar trees that surrounds my house. I hopped out of bed and walk out onto the porch to take a look.  There was a beautiful star filled sky this evening, with a sliver of the moon casting slight shadows on the branches blowing lightly in the breeze. The sensation was a bit eerie and the sound Yaaaaaag engggggg Yaaaaaaag enggggggg was still filling the silent spaces of the night. I couldn't see anything up in the tree but my dog was relentless. I was thinking it must be a baby bear crying for its mamma, but really the sound was kind of unearthly and unsettling. Yaaaaaaag engggggg  Yaaaaaaaaag enggggggg.  I knew that there would be no rest on the farm this evening with that sound continuing and the dog barking.  Coming to my senses I realized I must take some sort of action, but what? I am lucky I live in a remote area with no really close neighbors. So, I have a few more options open to me. The first and probably the stupidest option was the one I choose because after all, it was 12:30 am and I was still half asleep. I went back into the house and grabbed my little .357 magnum revolver from the night table. A gun which I have had for 20 years and have not fired since the day I bought it. I could not remember why I hadn't fired it but recall there being a good reason. It didn't really seem to matter.  I was not thinking clearly. I was determined to scare off whatever it was out of the tree so that I could have a little peace and quiet.  Yaaaaaag engggggg Yaaaaag engggggggg. Yep, it is still there and I knew this was going to be a good idea.

I grabbed the gun. It was heavy in my hand for such a little thing. An American made, precision crafted five shot revolver. I could feel the quality of this tool. The grip was warm in my hand as I marched outside with a mission. Yaaaaaag enggggggg Yaaaaaag enggggggg. 

It was dead quiet other than the noise coming from the tree. Even the slight breeze was whispering, making the crying sound even more grating.  My dog was now at my feet pacing around nervously. Quiet is all I wanted! So I raised the gun straight up into the air and pulled the trigger.

The sound was deafening to my right ear. I have never heard a canon fired, but I am sure it was as loud as that in the stillness.  A flame shot out of the barrel about two feet into the air, lighting up the yard and the forest for a quick peak into the night. I felt like my shoulder became dislocated from the kick back.  The next thing I remember is that I was standing alone. My dog was gone and my ear was ringing. I could feel the earth rumbling under my feet. Not unlike the western movies where someone puts there ear to the ground and says" riders are approaching". I realized right then that my cattle herd was stampeding. The noise of the gun was so loud that it spooked them into a frenzy.

Forgetting about the sound in the tree for a moment, I had other problems more pressing. I could now hear my dog barking in the far off distance. Was she down by the road? I quickly ran into the house and grabbed a flash light and put down the gun. I started calling for the dog and was hearing cattle in places I know they shouldn't be. First things first, I must find the dog. I headed off down the long driveway thinking "this is not my idea of a fun evening." The moonlight was filtering through the Alder trees making the run a little easier. The dog barking was a far echo in the forest.

Coming to the end of the driveway the moonlight was shining on the pavement casting a silver light on my terrified dog. Her tail was between her legs but she was still barking at the unknown noise up in the tree but now from a safer distance.  I called her to me and told her we had a job to do. “The cattle are out and we must find them”. She understood the word job and cattle and I could see her energy shift as she pulled it together. She followed me back up the driveway and we filled a bucket with grain.  With flashlight in hand, we were off to find the herd of cattle and to see what damage they caused to the fence.

Walking through the forest at night is no easy task. There is lots of underbrush and trees down on the ground that has to be navigated. There are rotten, decaying fallen trees that you sink into up to your knees. I was trudging through the worst of it when I saw the glowing red eyes peering at me from behind the trees. A quick shake of the bucket and I knew my little beasts would follow me anywhere. They quickly responded with a conciliatory moooooo.  In these moments I feel a little like the Pied Piper. Another shake of the bucket and I heard them moving. I continued my walk towards the biggest gate, opened it and kept up a steady pace still shaking the bucket. The cows seemed happy to have a reassuring presence in their midst. Grain and "the human" is a good thing.  I made a quick count determining that they were all present and accounted for. Then; I had some fence repair to deal with. Walking all the way back to the house, I quickly turned off the power to the fence and grabbed my fencing tools and extra wire. Fixing fencing under the moon light can be a very Zen experience. As a farmer fencing becomes second nature. There is always fencing that needs to be taken care of. So I found the breaks in the wire and efficiently repaired the gaps enjoying the silence and the simple act of doing repairs. Fixing the worst of it, I walked the rest of the fence line to make sure it was sound. I slowly made my way back to my house. Now, enjoying the silence of the night, the beautiful glow of the moon on the pasture and the way it made everything look so magical. I turned the fence back on and headed back up to bed. It was now 4:30 am and I was glad that was over. I was thinking to myself that the gun was not such a good idea. I laid my head down on the pillow. The dog curled up at my feet. I shut my eyes. I started to drift off,   Yaaaaaag enggggggg Yaaaaag enggggggg. The dog was up again, barking wildly. My eyes popped open. I reached over to my night table for option two; I pulled out the ear plugs.  

Chop Wood Carry Water.

I love  February chores. This is a time of year when the promise of spring is starting to show herself. The cold, clear, crisp days are always a reminder to me to get out and harvest wood for next years winter. This is a great way to stay warm and feel good about what you have done at the end of the day. . This is one of those musts for the self reliant farmer. If you don't do it you will suffer for it. So, even though sitting around drinking a cup of coffee sounds good in the moment, somehow you must dig deep within yourself to put on the jacket and muster up chain saw, tools, files, chains,wedges,bar oil and gas mix and head on out for some fun. Besides, there is always something endearing  about the smell of chainsaw and wood chips on your clothes, don't ya think?

Nothing like the present

Today is the beginning of another day. It has been very long journey to arrive right here right now.  A journey that started so long ago.
I live on a small farm in Washington State. My vision so many years ago was to create a space were I was free. A place were I felt safe, could feed myself and live pretty much unencumbered by rules, neighbors, the government, debt, landlords, pollution, and noise.  An old hippie concept for sure but never the less I yearned for the feeling of just being.  I read a quote in high School by Ursula Leguin from the Earth Sea trilogy ; which has never left me.  " Then very seldom, do we come across a time and a space like this, between act and act, where we may stop and simply be". I longed for the feeling of just being.
This of course can happen but does involve work. My understanding of "chop wood, carry water is so basic and deeply rooted into my cells that I must have brought it over from another life time. To do the work necessary to keep oneself alive with some semblance of comfort while being able to help or feed others while living symbiotically with the environment seems to be a wonderful way of being.
I have always been into self reliance and have spent most of my life doing for others so that I could learn how to do it for myself. I am 50 years old now and have managed  to buy some farm property, build my own house from the land, create several small blue collar businesses so that I could work for myself and  develop the skills needed for this journey all while remaining debt free. This blog will be the story of the journey. How it all began and where the journey has taken me.

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